My sweet boy just turned 8. It is so crazy to watch this little guy grow up, since I still remember the exact moment I looked down at that positive pregnancy test. As children get older and more mature, they start to make their own decisions, which is expected. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t catch me off guard… like my son did this year when he took back his birthday.
Many of you may know this already, but both my husband and I grew up in South Florida. I feel very lucky that I still get to see childhood friends, and since most of them have children of their own.. now we try to get our kids together. Which is one of the reasons why I LOVED my kids birthday parties. (I even wrote about it a long time ago) With everyone being so busy, kids parties are a great way for us to catch up with our friends. It was easy to get away with inviting who we wanted, since Hudson was born during the summertime, so I didn’t have to worry about inviting kids from his school. (so wrong… I know) But this year, Hudson had something else in mind.
This was from last year’s party, I grew up with these ladies!
About a month ago, he told me he wanted to have a pool party at the house. We had one for him last year, and it was so much fun. Well, for my husband and I it was… and I thought he enjoyed it, too. But there was a catch this time.
“Mom, I want to invite my friends to my birthday this year. Like, my friends from school. You always invite all of your friends and their kids and this year I want the party to be smaller.”
Ummmm. Yikes. I said of course and asked him to tell me who he wanted to invite. I was heartbroken when I realized a lot of our friends kids were not on his list. Later, I casually asked if he didn’t like the pool party he had the previous year. He said he did, but that there were a LOT of kids in the pool and since some were pretty young he felt like he had to be careful while playing. He told me he liked all my friends kids (he could sense where I was going I suppose) but that he wanted a smaller party, and he missed his friends from the school year and really wanted to see them.
This year the party was much smaller, but my son loved it!
I was panicked when I told my husband later that night. Holy crap. How are we going to do this? Will our friends feelings be hurt? Should I keep the party a secret? The sensible side of me told me it was no big deal, I mean… a child should have the right to his own guest list. But the much larger, anxiety-ridden, “I hate any kind of drama” side of my brain was in freak out mode. My husband assured me our friends would understand. He also said maybe we should try to do a better job getting everyone together more often, to prevent this from happening again in the future. (my husband is so wise… and calm. He is the ying to my psycho-ass yang)
We really are “Bad Moms” since we never get our kids together! ha!
The night after the party, I met up with some friends to eat sushi and watch “Bad Moms.” I informed them of Hudson’s party, that was held the day before. As I suspected, they were fine with it. (and agreed we needed to get all our kids together more) Since the party, there have been a few others who have been annoyed or perhaps a bit hurt, which makes me feel bad. But as kids get older, their opinions grow as well. I am proud of my son for speaking up and taking back his birthday. We had a wonderful pool party, I made some new friends and my son said the day was perfect. Happy Birthday, sweet boy!
what a smart little guy. i always think it’s a little funny when people’s parents want to head up the guest list at their weddings – i guess the is sort of the same idea. the party is about him – so he should be in charge. go little man!! and happy bday
what a smart little guy. i always think it’s a little funny when people’s parents want to head up the guest list at their weddings – i guess the is sort of the same idea. the party is about him – so he should be in charge. go little man!! and happy bday
I think it’s awesome that he spoke up and that you honored his wishes. Real friends will always understand..
smart cookie! and I need to see Bad Moms stat!
xo
Lee Anne
http://lifebylee.com/
AWww that would be so hard, but you definitely did the right thing. I’m sure it will be a party he never forgets!
Awww sweet boy. “He is my ring to my psycho ass yang”… literally the best thing I have read all day!:)
Ahhhh this is going to be my diaghter some day! I’m guilty of always inviting my own friends to things of hers since they all have kiddos too.
There’s nothing wrong with this… And now you have a reason to host another (non-birthday) party for your friends. Just throw a bbq. It’s all good.
That must have been SO hard to manage everyone else’s expectations, but you stood by your son and that is commendable! Last year at 7 we did a family party and a kids party. Worked great!
Way to go Hudson. I feel like my son is claiming his birthday this year. He will be 4 and picked Pokemon. I have very little to say about this other than YUCK but it’s his party so I’m going to support him!
What a proud moment. Not only did he speak up for himself, but you listened. Mommy/Kid win!
I’m giving you a virtual “slow clap” 🙂 I think it’s awesome that you went with what your son wanted in spite of what others might have thought. Your true friends will certainly understand. And after all, kids grow up and ultimately why should he not have the final say? Bravo mama!
Your boy sounds like he is growing up. It’s so good that he felt comfortable to speak his mind and it’s great that you respected his wishes.
That is a tough situation. I always worry about offending someone by not inviting so I would have been super stressed. We already do a family party and a separate kid party so it doesn’t get too big. Good for you for letting him make the choice.
Good for your son and good for you and your husband for realizing he world is getting bigger and he is developing ideas and opinions of his own.
Good for your and your son! Don’t worry about hurting friends’ feelings. We all know that we can’t hijack our kids’ birthday parties forever. LOL.
I’ve never really thought about it, but I guess there does come an age where your kids have their own friends and you’re not inviting your own friends with kids anymore. A good thing for me to keep in mind down the road!
Awe your son sounds so sweet (and smart)! Someone is doing this mommy-hood thing right! 😉
Aw! Happy Birthday!
They definitely should be fine with it because it is your son’s party. True friends totally get it because one day they will be in the same boat. Oh man, I know I will be facing this some day in the future too 😉
SO cute. I love that he spoke his needs to you. I am dying to see that movie. I might actually go by myself this weekend!