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Homework without Tears

WorkingMomMagic.com

If you have a child in school, there’s a good chance you have had a battle or two over homework. I was surprised when my son first started school, and was bringing home pages and pages of worksheets to complete at home. He was just 5 years old… easily spending 30 minutes on homework.

I have heard plenty of parents complain about the amount of homework their kids come home with. Many teachers I know admit, there simply isn’t enough hours in the school day to teach and reiterate the skills students need to know.

According to the National Education Association, there is a method to the homework madness. They have a formula, 10 minutes of homework for each grade. So first graders should have about 10 minutes, second graders should get 20 minutes, and so on. That seems like a pretty fair amount, but I know firsthand that young kids often get more homework than that.

Since homework isn’t going away, we all need to find a way to deal with it. Fighting and arguing with my first grader over writing 5 spelling sentences isn’t how I like to spend my evenings, so I have figured out some ways to get through homework without tears. (from me or my child)

Set a time: Try to make it so your child does their homework at the same time each day. Maybe it is when they first get home from school, or after a snack and some playtime. Figure out what works best for your child. You need to establish a homework time so your child knows it is time to sit down and get that work done. That way, you will avoid any arguments over them wanting to do “one more thing..” before starting homework.

Make a “homework” spot: Teachers recommend students as young as first grade learn to do their homework on their own. Make sure your child has a clean, clutter-free space to do homework each night. This could be a desk in their room, or even at the kitchen table. Don’t sit next to them or hover while they do their work. Instead, just tell them to ask for help if they are having problems with something. If you find your child has trouble concentrating, look over what they have to do, then set a timer. For my son, who never stops daydreaming, I will give him 10 minutes to finish the front and back of a worksheet. I set my phone and will even give him a 2 minute warning. It helps to keep him on track.

Be Positive: Try to find some way to give your child positive reinforcement through the process. Say they finish their work in a timely manner, but then you realize some parts need to be done over. Make a point to compliment your child for finishing their homework on time and praise them for what they did right. Then you can say, “You did so awesome, but this part is not quite right, let’s look over it together and fix it.” Obviously, you wouldn’t be talking to a high schooler this way, but if you want younger kids to get used to homework, and not dread it, you have to keep it positive.

Offer Rewards: If your child does really well on their homework or gets special praise from their teacher about it, be sure to make a big deal. Maybe let them have a ‘treat’ after dinner or tell them they have earned extra TV time our outside time, or whatever is a perk in your household.

Obviously, these tips can be tailored to fit what works best in your house. Homework doesn’t have to be a battle. The key here is you are setting a homework routine. As long as you stick to the same plan every night then homework will become part of their day, just like getting dressed or brushing their teeth… and the arguments will fade away.

I wrote this post originally for SmartMom.co. 

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Comments

  1. Susie & Kate says

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    These are great tips!! I wish all teachers would follow the 10min rule. My son had what seemed like a Lot of homework last year (1st grade) but this year not nearly as much. I think all teachers have their way of doing things. We always tried to set up a space and time. I tried not to talk about how it seemed like a lot of work in front of my son… That was probably the hardest part!

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    • Lauren says

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      My son's teacher is pretty reasonable so far.. he is in 1st grade too. I hope you are having a great week!

      Reply
  2. Bev Feldman says

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    I haven't had to deal with homework as a mom yet but I did as a babysitter and it made me grateful at the time I only had to do it a couple times a week! I really like the idea of having a homework spot. When Eve is old enough I think it would be fun to have her own homework station in my office.

    Reply
    • Lauren says

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      Yes! My son has a computer math program that he can do from home and we sit at the computer table together since we have two laptops. He does his homework and I work on the blog and he thinks it is so much fun. 🙂

      Reply
  3. Christina Nicholson says

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    I've seen a bit of that new way to learn math business. And I'm not there yet, but if that continues when my kids are learning… I will be the one in tears.

    Reply
    • Lauren says

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      I hear you! After working all day.. the last thing both of us want to do after dinner is argue over getting his homework done!

      Reply
  4. Theresa says

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    I agree having an area dedicated to working is great. I always let my daughter refresh with snacks & short break prior to diving into homework. Now she is almost 14 and all her homework is done online for school. Luckily for me she is a very good student and wants good grades. I think instilling a good homework routine can make things easier. We talk everyday what subjects and homework is due / when tests are and making sure she's setting aside enough time.

    Reply
    • Lauren says

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      Yes it is hard since my son has homework time at aftercare, but sometimes he wont do it. That mean he has to finish after dinner.. which is not a fun time for anyone!

      Reply
  5. Kristen Hewitt says

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    I am so glad we don't have homework. Even doing review is hell…I don't know how parents get through it! But I do like your idea of a dedicated spot, so choosing that now for review. Thanks!

    Reply
    • Lauren says

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      Yes you are so lucky you have a homework free school!!!

      Reply
  6. Lissette says

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    These are all great tips! My stepson is also a daydreamer and always has been. It's always been a battle to get him to pay attention in school, do his howework, practice his piano, everything. He's a natural procrastinator; it's infuriating. I'm hoping my son will be a little easier when he starts school.

    Reply
    • Lauren says

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      Yes.. your stepson sounds just like my little man!! ha!

      Reply
  7. heather meads says

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    Great tips for sure. We had a few tears last year but nothing too bad. This year his teacher said no homework other than reading (he's in grade 5) and I agree with that – he get's to spend more quality time with his family.

    Reply
    • Lauren says

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      That is AWESOME! I know it must be hard to teach kids everything they need these days.. but seriously.. how much homework do these young kids need? I just cant see the benefit!

      Reply
  8. Joanna Clute says

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    I will definitely be trying these out in a few years when my oldest starts school. We are thinking about homeschooling but these tips could also be helpful for that:)

    Reply
    • Lauren says

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      yes getting a routine down is important… no matter what type of schooling you decide on! 🙂

      Reply
  9. Tarynn Playle says

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    These are great ideas! It makes sense to keep structure for them regarding school even at home.

    Reply
    • Lauren says

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      Thank you! My son needs help staying focused and this has really helped

      Reply
  10. Chanity Dawn says

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    Love these! Keeping Ayden on task is draining at times but I'm hoping this will be a phase!

    Reply
    • Lauren says

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      It is hard to keep my sweet boy on task as well.. he has always been super active.. sitting still is not his thing! 😉

      Reply
  11. Aubrey Aquino says

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    The great homework debate…this gives me flashbacks of my homework struggles..eek! Thankfully I have a couple more years before mine start bringing home worksheets.

    Reply
  12. Brooke @ Silver Lining says

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    Growing up, we always did our homework first before we were allowed to play. Making it a set routine was really smart, and something I recommend to all the parents of my students.

    Reply
  13. Lindsay Gilbert says

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    Homework is tough. Thanks for the great tips!!

    Reply
  14. Tanisha Gomez says

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    My son is in a special needs school for children with autism and he gets about 2 worksheets per day (usually a reading a math one) and getting him to focus on it is difficult at times. Most of the tips you'e mentioned are great and I've aleady started using some of them. I have a set time for him to do it now + I make sure he has the dining table all to himself and I sit next to him to help redirect him when needed. He loves it when I encourage him and often tells me "Say Good Job mom!", lol. 🙂

    Reply
  15. Jules Ruud says

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    Yay for positive parenting. I am dreading the boys going to school because I am a perfectionist and I know I will have to set that aside to let them learn. Love the idea of a time and a spot too. We are sticklers for routine over here and it has been working to our advantage with the toddler. Hoping that his brother will follow suit, but only time will tell, hahaha.

    Reply
  16. ananda says

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    great tips!! being positive and offering encouragement is so important!

    Reply
  17. Constance Jones says

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    Aweee- this is great! I didn't know so many parents dealt with this! My sister has a problem with her son doing the same thing! Setting a structure enviorment seem to be key! Great tips!

    Reply
  18. Nicole McGregor says

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    yep, agreed. all good stuff!

    Reply
  19. Cindy Calzone says

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    Great post! I love homework time with my son…other than New York state has the common core and I'm already lost on my son's first grade math lol

    Reply
  20. Deb says

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    I like the idea of a study room or “homework” spot. Thanks

    Reply

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