I am a very honest person. I always say what is on my mind, and sometimes it gets me in trouble. Especially with my kids. Even since Hudson was little… if he asked me a question… I answered it honestly.
For example, we often talk about our old dog, Roxy. Roxy passed away when Hudson was 2 years old. Then about 2 years later, Santa brought us Punky. Every once in awhile, Hudson will say how he missed Roxy and remembers her. I always tell him she went to doggie heaven and it was never an issue. Until a few months ago.
At that moment, Hudson started HYSTERICALLY CRYING. Like crazy, not even taking a breath, red-faced, real tears crying.
I will spare you the next 20 minutes… but after attempting to reason with him… I finally gave up and just LIED. I told him I made a mistake and just remembered that Punky would never go to doggie heaven. She was going to be with him forever.
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| My kids with their magical dog who will never die. |
Now I just figure, if it is something my kid is eventually going to figure out when he is old enough, then I can lie to him about it now… while he is too young to understand it. Since then he’s asked me if I am going to die. If dad is going to die. And if his sister is ever going to die. Obviously the answer to all of those questions right now is No. Nope. Never. We are never going to die.
I’m sure this is probably NOT the right way to handle the situation. But I just didn’t know what else to do.
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However, when he asks me things that concern his safety, I am honest. He asked me one day if kidnappers were real. I told him they are very real. His question surprised me, since I ALWAYS talk to him about stranger danger and who he can and can’t talk to, etc. I’m not sure if he was testing me or what, but I made it very clear and went over all the rules I have told him in the past.
Do you ever lie to your kids?
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I think we've all stretched the truth/told a little lie to our kids at some point.. I'm sure my mom did with me. It's all part of parenting.
I know, but sometimes I still feel bad about it! Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment!
Death is so hard to share/explain to kids.I'm dreading the day someone or pet dies in our extended family. I'm honest with my kids, sometimes too honest especially with kidnappers.
But, when I don't want to explain something to my kids I send them to Dad. 🙂
Yeah, I am scary when it comes to kidnapper talk. But I don't care about that… I WANT him to be terrified!
I have never had to do this…yet. But it's hard to explain death to little ones. I don't blame you for wanting to help their aching hearts by telling them a little lie.
What I am afraid of is for my kids to find something out when they are much older. For instance, I found out a couple of years ago (mind you I am 32) that our cat and her litter did not in fact get spooked by the 4th of July fireworks and run away. I was elementary school-aged at the time! I laughed with my mom when she accidentally told me the truth. I was still in shock that it took so long to find out.
Oh my goodness, my parents did something similar to me! My hamster was really old and when it started losing patches of hair my mom somehow convinced me that we should let her go to live in nature with other hamsters (I was an only child…and very easily influenced!) SO we took her to a huge field and my mom told me later that she swears she saw an hawk swoop in moments after we drove off! She just didnt want me to deal with the hamsters death!
aweeee– I still believe that lie!!
I know, right! 🙂
Our kids know all about death because their grandfather (my dad) and their grandmother (husband's mom) both passed away. I also know they understand because while watching Frozen and the parents get lost at sea, they say, "Mom, Dad, they died. They're in heaven." We've had our dog for 8 years now and I'm sad to think what would happen when she passes on.
http://www.newsyparents.com
I think he understands when people are dead, but maybe he just doesn't want to think about future deaths! My dad passed away 10 years ago, and I talk about that with him all the time, but since he never met him he doesn't really put it together. Seeing our kids sad just sucks!
I'm sure I've told a white lie or two to my kids! I have four older animals so I don't know what I will do when they pass on.
I guess it will be a good lesson for them when it does happen. Thanks for commenting! 🙂
I know I have lied a time or two! The important thing is that it IS bothering you and that's because you love your kids and are trying to do the right thing as their Mom. I think if you lied and it didn't bother you, would be more of a concern.
Well I like the way you think! hahaha Any reasoning that makes it seem like I am doing something good is alright with me! 😉
Hilarious!! I know we will get there and I KNOW I will have to tell a few fibs every now and then. Poor little huddy buddy.
Ugh.. its horrible! And I am such a BAD liar… he has to know it!
I'm very honest with my son,but like you there are times when a lie keeps the peace, and doesn't cause any harm.
Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment Andrea! I agree, honestly is best… but sometimes you gotta bend the truth a bit! 😉
You gotta do what you gotta do. I am the queen of exaggeration with my kids. Doing anything unsafe will land you in the hospital! 🙂
Yes! I throw out the hospital threat a lot! Glad I am not alone there!
We try to be honest, but I'm sure we've told some little lies here and there. My husband took my daughter to see the Lion King when she was 2 1/2 and when she asked if Mufasa was OK, he explained that Mufasa was dead and never coming back. I think that would have been a good time for a white lie, personally 🙂
Hahaha… Husbands.. arent they awesome? 😉
My son is only one, so I haven't really have had to deal with it yet. I'm pretty honest, so I hope to tell the truth, but I know a white lie here or there won't hurt. I am the worst liar though!
I suck at lying too! I'm sure he knows the truth but just feels better not thinking about it. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment! 🙂
Haven't had to do this yet, but I'm sure someday! Santa is a lie too, so don't worry about it! 😉
What!? Santa is a lie? Then who put all those gifts under the tree?? 😉
I have been dreading the conversations about dying. I am not sure they ever get easier though 🙁 Not a part of parenthood I am looking forward to… explaining the tough stuff!
And it has been explained to him before… but he just wasn't hearing it that night for some reason. So I just gave up haha… "fine, fine you're dog will never die… now good night!" 😉
you could be like my friend and just tell your kids, at age like 1, there's no santa.
So she's a liar then too… since obviously there is a santa. 😉 (I mean, I know I don't have time to get all those gifts under the tree!!)
LOL! I think I need to become a better "liar" for various reasons…but yeah, gotta do what you gotta do to stop the meltdowns at ALL costs!!!! Good stuff Lauren B!!!
Thanks Aubrey… yes I just gave up at that point, and I suck a lying so he must know. 😉
I dont have children yet, but if I did I would lie to them. I have nieces and nephews and they hate the truth.
I think when kids are little it should be okay, since the truth is sad sometimes, and they will figure it out eventually. 🙁
I feel like I should lie more to my kids. Time will tell if I've done them a disservice. If so, they can add "didn't lie enough" to the list of things that they hate me for. Such is life.
Besos, Sarah
Blogger at Journeys of The Zoo
Loved your take on this on your blog! 🙂 Thank you for the shoutout!
This made me think of a "King of Queens" episode where Doug thinks his dog is 27 years old because his parents kept lying and replacing the original pet. Eventually the jig is up.
Sometimes parents just have to go with their gut, because even though we expect our kids to eventually figure it out and get to a place where they will know better – we often don't. 😀
Haha… I would totally do that if I could pull it off. You just don't want your kids to be in pain or sad, esp when they are still so little!! Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment! 🙂