My husband and I RARELY go on date nights. We should probably have them more often, but we are totally fine having our ‘date night’ at home. Even when we were in college, we always would end up staying home instead of going out.
Usually, if we have an event, like a friends birthday party or wedding, my mother-in-law watches our kids. So we have only used an actual babysitter… I think 3 or 4 times. We have a sitter who watches the baby during the week and picks Hudson up from school, so they are used to having caretakers. But for some reason, when they see mom & dad dressed to go out WITHOUT them (and not going to work) they have a massive breakdown.
Hudson usually starts crying… tells us he wants to go… he will miss us… he loves us… says he won’t be able to fall asleep without us there. He really lays it on thick. Now Mila has joined in on the fun… running after us crying & begging to be picked up.
My husband’s sweet parents wanted to take us out to dinner on Saturday night, so I had to bite the bullet and find a sitter.
This time I was determined to get out of the house without anyone having a breakdown (me included)… so here’s how I avoided the babysitter blues!
Meet & Greet: My in-laws gave us a few weeks heads up about dinner, so we would be able to find someone. Luckily, after a quick facebook post, I found a friend I grew up with (who is currently a nanny) was happy to help me out and watch the kids. I had her come by last weekend for a bit, while my husband and I were there so she could meet the kids. That’s when I told Hudson that we we’re going out next weekend and that my friend would be babysitting them. They got to hang out with her, so when she come over again the following weekend, she was familiar.
No Surprises: So now that he knew he was having a sitter, the whole thing wouldn’t come as a surprise. He had all week to think about it, and ask me any questions. (“Where are you guys going?” “Will I be allowed to play iPad while she’s here?”)
Departure Distractions: Leaving is the worst part, at least for my oldest. Mila can be distracted by just getting to push the garage door button. So this time around, I decided to make a little ‘bye-bye bag’ for Hudson. I went to the dollar store and picked up a few little things, then put it in a bag and hid it. When I was getting ready to go, and I saw him starting to get upset… I told him I had a secret. I whispered that I hid a special gift for him near the dog cage, but that he couldn’t open it until we were gone and the garage was closed. Well, that turned his mood around real quick. He was actually excited for me to leave so he could find his surprise and I felt much better knowing he wasn’t crying as I drove away. It was worth the 4 bucks for that alone, and then I could start my night with less anxiety.
Bend the Rules: While we were away, he was allowed to play electronics, iPad, video games, TV.. whatever he wanted. My friend also brought a huge bag full of craft stuff, so he was really excited to dive into that. Having a sitter is a rare thing for us, so I’m okay with making it a ‘special’ night for them. As long as it was okay with my friend, he was allowed to stay up a little later, have dessert, and break a few of my normal restrictions. That way, its kind of a party night not only for me and my husband, but for my kids too.
Check-in, but don’t be a stalker: I told my friend that if Hudson said he wanted to call me (to say goodnight or anything) that she should let him. But I didn’t call them. Even though I wanted to tell him good night, it’s not worth risking getting the kids upset. I did text to make sure everything was ok. It was.
I am happy to say the whole thing went smoothly! My kids had a fun night with a fantastic sitter, and me and my hubby got to have a grown-up evening with our awesome family!
Getting out of the house is always the trickiest! I'm glad you found a system that worked and had a wonderful night out in the process! – Louise
Yes, it was actually really nice! Now that I have found a great sitter, we may start having date nights more often!
So glad you were able to get out with your sweetie. Once the kids are here, it is sometimes so difficult to really have alone time. It has to be carved into the schedule. Great tips!
Yes we def underestimated how nice date night is! Thanks for stopping by! 😉
love the ideas! have used them all in the past. but here's my tip to you: go out more w hubby so you don't have to use these tips anymore. you just say BYE! hee heeee 🙂
hahaha… I can't wait to get to that point! I don't get why they freak out since we leave them to go to work M-F… kids are so strange! 😉
These are some REALLY REALLY great tips! Going to share this with my sister!
Thank you Constance!
Great tips!!! I know we are hesitant to "ask for help"…but really it's good for them and even better for us…sometimes you just have to do it and get out!!!
Great tips!!! It's def hard to get out for date nights, etc.. when we don't want to find a sitter or leave the kids…BUT it's good for them and even BETTER for us!!! 🙂
You are so right! We are going to try to go out just the two of us more often. 😉
Awesome tips! Kids are so good at inducing guilt trips. I love the idea of stashing a bag of surprises. I'll definitely try that idea. Thanks for sharing
Yes! My son suckers me all the time and I can't help myself… I fall for it every time! 😉
The 'bye bye bag' is genius!! My daughter would LOVE it! Now I want to plan a date night so I can try it! Haha! Thanks for all the tips!
Yes.. I think actually getting out of the house is the hardest part! I hope you can sneak away for a date soon!
This post made me laugh because I was a nanny for ten years and my child is now two and a half and we have yet to ever use a sitter! My clients all told me I would be the most neurotic mom when my time came, because the Universe would get even with me for telling them not to worry when their kids cried when they left, that I knew it would stop within ten minutes or less and we would have a grand old time reading stories, watching movies and sneaking a bit of extra ice cream. And then I totally became that mother who hated even a moment of tears. Sigh. I needed this post very much! Thanks for the encouragement! it really hit home!
Yes… we NEVER get out… but I think I am finally learning to let go a little bit! Thanks for taking the time to comment, maybe you will have a night out without kids soon! 😉
Having a meet & greet is a GREAT idea so the kids can adjust to the new person! 🙂
Yes it helped with my youngest, she is not a fan of strangers! 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
Oh my goodness! Great tips!
Thank you! 🙂
Great ideas! – Theresa, http://www.theresasreviews.com
Thanks for taking the time to comment Theresa! have a great weekend!
I am so glad you and your hubby got to spend a great night together and all family! Those are great aka brilliant ideas! I am kim to have to remember these for when I need them. Thanks for the ideas! I love your kids names by the way!
Thank you Adele!! It was def nice to get away even for a little bit.. and if bribery makes it easier… so be it! Thanks for stopping by! 😉
Love it! No problem! : )
I love the idea of the ByeBye Distratctions… I often do this even when I am leaving them with the Hubby 😀 Great Post!
Thank you! And your comment has me thinking, maybe we should also make a bye bye bag for our hubby's… I'll leave mine earplugs & some mini bottles of booze! HA! 😉
The bye-bye bag is an amazing idea! I will definitely be stealing all of these ideas! Thanks!
Thanks! The dollar store has def stepped up its game these days.. I found TONS of great stuff! Have a great week and thank you for stopping by!
You have some great tips here!
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment!! Have a great week! 🙂
The secret bag is genius! Plus, I like how you let them break the rules so it's a special treat for them. Glad it went well!!
thank you… yeah we rarely get out so they get super spoiled when we do. 😉
I like the Bye-Bye Bag! Very fun. We recently went out on a date. It had been a long time.
I hear ya!! We always say we need to go on dates more often… but we never do. There's time for that later, right now I feel like the kids are so young… I think the occasional night out is good for now.
Nice! I especially love the idea behind "no surprises". I think that's really smart. Kids seem to do better when there are clear expectations. Love it!
Thank you! At least with my son, he does much better when I lay it all out there… he doesnt do well when I spring stuff on him. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
We try the distraction trick too – even a simple thing like having the babysitter bring him a lollipop as a surprise works. Just something to remind him how much fun he has with her! Happy SITS Day!