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mom magic, parenthood, Uncategorized • May 13, 2014

My kids don’t sleep

                                baby, parenting, sleep

 

People look at me with shock and dismay when I tell them my daughter (who is 15 months old) still does not sleep through the night. On most nights she wakes up twice. That is the usual. Sometimes she is up more. Some nights (and these are REALLY few and far between) she sleeps the whole night through. Family members and (more often) strangers are always happy to give me suggestions.

“Have you let her cry it out?”
“NEVER pick her up, just go in and pat her back.”
“You should look into sleep training.”
“Don’t give her a bottle or pick her up and she will put herself back to bed.”
“You are setting her up for a life of poor sleeping habits.” (I actually hear this one more than you may think…) 

 

baby, sleep, parenting
Mom, let’s snuggle on the carpet and watch TV at 3am… again.

Luckily, these comments don’t even faze me. You see… this isn’t my first rodeo. My son didn’t sleep either. (they say if you have one non-sleeper, your next child will definitely be a good sleeper. False.) Since he was my first child I was desperate to find out what I was doing wrong. Everyone I knew who had kids around the same time as me had kids that were sleeping all night long. So I read every book I could find. The No-Cry Sleep Solution, the Happiest Baby on the Block, Babywise. I researched Ferber. I had endless nights of the 5 S’s, I timed out screaming sessions into 5, 10, 20 minute intervals and more. I did what I was “supposed” to do. We had a bedtime routine, I put him in the crib sleepy but awake. If he cried, I would walk in, lay him back down, and walk out. It didn’t matter WHAT I did. That kid Would. Not. Sleep. Until he was ready.

baby, sleep, parenting
This is how she used to sleep, it would give me a heart attack every time.

So with my daughter, I gave up. I go in when she cries. I even PICK HER UP. (gasp!!!) If she doesn’t settle right away I will (you may want to sit down for this part…) GIVE HER A BOTTLE. All of these things HORRIFY my pediatrician, but I don’t care. My sitter, who has cared for many kids and has three of her own, says she has never seen a baby so stubborn when it comes to sleep and no matter what she tries she just cannot get her on a schedule. My husband and I live in a sleep deprived fog that is familiar to us. But I don’t stress about it. Not anymore. I know the time will come when she decides she is ready to sleep all night. Every night.

parenting, sleep, baby
See.. she sleeps. Just not in her crib.

My son was finally ready for regular slumber when he turned 2. He started crawling out of his crib every night just before his 2nd birthday. After finding him asleep on the couch almost every morning, we finally caved and bought a big boy bed. Suddenly, my sweet baby who would never sleep (and NEVER EVER nap) started sleeping through the night regularly and going in for naps at the same time each day. He is still a awesome sleeper.

parenting, sleep, baby
Hudson & his sleeping buddy, Punky

I see the exact same behavior in my daughter, but this time around, I trust my instincts. Not every kid becomes a good sleeper at 3 months. And when you feel like everyone you know has kids who sleep through the night, while you are pulling your hair out at 3am with a crying 1 year old, just know you aren’t alone. And try not to stress, it’s such a short time, it will pass. I promise. So for now, I will just wait for her to come around. And drink coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.

parenting, sleep, baby
Mom, grab another cup of coffee and let’s snuggle!

 

 

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Comments

  1. Constance Jones says

    May 13, 2014 at 4:45 pm

    aweeeee— They are too sweet.

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      May 13, 2014 at 9:37 pm

      Not at 3am!! hahaha 😉

      Reply
  2. Jenny says

    May 13, 2014 at 5:40 pm

    Oh man, EVERYONE has an opinion, and they're often unsolicited, huh? Our daughter went back and forth for a while, but at 15 months, I think she's FINALLY sleeping through the night for good, *Insert HUGE knock on wood here* We gave her bottles and we would go in and comfort her when she woke up. I just couldn't bring myself let her cry. It didn't feel right to me, but that was my choice. I don't judge other moms for their choices, and I've realized that the books are all garbage. Mommy instincts are far superior to what any book will recommend 🙂

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      May 13, 2014 at 9:39 pm

      Right! I just can't let her cry! I know it works for SO many people, but I just have to go with my gut on this one! I hope your daughter continues her good sleeping streak! 🙂

      Reply
  3. EstheticGoddess says

    May 13, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    They are adorable! Looks like you have it all figured out! In time she will sleep through the night and this will all be a distant memory!

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      May 13, 2014 at 9:41 pm

      Thank you! I know.. it's a short time when you really think about it, but sometimes it feels like forever!! 😉

      Reply
  4. Nicole McGregor says

    May 13, 2014 at 8:27 pm

    my daughter -wanted to- sleep through the night in a couple months. my son just started doing it… he was like 2 1/2. it was a long couple years!

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      May 13, 2014 at 9:43 pm

      I hear ya! I was really hoping it would be different the second time around… but no. I think she hates sleeping more than her brother did!

      Reply
  5. Kristen Hewitt says

    May 13, 2014 at 9:23 pm

    I was a cry it out mommy…we used Dream Team Baby's method and it worked like a charm. I'm a big believer in white noise machines and consistency. But you seem to be way more laid back than I am! I am a grumpy-pants when I don't sleep. Good for you – sticking to your guns and dealing with it in your own way. They will figure it out eventually!

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      May 13, 2014 at 9:47 pm

      So many of my friends swear by the cry it out method! I wish I had the willpower to try it again. It just never worked with my son, so at this point I just feel like 'why bother?' Now I'm wondering if I should have at least stuck with the white noise a little longer for her… hmmm…

      Reply
  6. Tara Newman says

    May 13, 2014 at 10:09 pm

    With my son, we let him cry it out. Within 2 nights he was a super sleeper. My daughter, now 6, still can't self soothe. I swear I was going to give her a binky the other night!

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      May 14, 2014 at 12:58 am

      Oh jeez… I feel your pain! I am so glad I posted this since I always felt like everyone had 'perfect' sleepers! I don't feel so alone now! Thanks for taking the time to stop by and comment! 🙂

      Reply
  7. Erin says

    June 27, 2014 at 7:04 pm

    Both my sons didn't sleep through the night until they were 18 months old. Devin is now the best sleeper, EVER. Still working on my 4 year old. I'm sure he won't be 18 and wanting me to lay down with him before bed. As parents, you do what works for you and your family. Period.

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      June 27, 2014 at 9:50 pm

      I totally agree! MiIa has JUST started sleeping through the night pretty regularly, so we are enjoying a good run right now! 🙂

      Reply
  8. Adrienne says

    May 6, 2018 at 7:46 am

    Ah family’s tips are the best! And every single one is neglecting the previous one! That’s why I decided to do my research and chose the sleep training method in advance. I’ve found this guide called „How to teach a baby to fall asleep alone” ( https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=susan+urban+guide+in+a+nutshell). There are tips for the first 3 months, and month 4 you can start training. That way if anyone around has anything to say – you can just thank them politely 😉 And the method is working in just few night! I was surprised how easy that is.

    Reply
    • Candice says

      August 30, 2018 at 4:36 pm

      I used this guide since the beggining. Those tips really work! Susan Ubran can make motherhood easier.

      Reply

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