A LOT of moms work. In 2015, 69.9 percent of mothers with children under age 18 were in the labor force. (Source) While working moms may be becoming more common, that doesn’t mean it is getting easier. Mom guilt is very real. I think any working mom who tells you she isn’t struggling to maintain a work/home life balance is lying.
I always feel bad when friends or readers of this blog ask me how I make it look so easy, since it is NOT easy. I struggle daily to keep all the balls in the air. (remember the tagline for this blog? When Keeping It Together is Just an ILLUSION) However, after nearly 9 years of being a working mom, I do have some tips to help you hold onto your happy!
How To Be A Happy Working Mom
Learn Time Management Skills: This is SO SO extremely important for anyone, but especially when you are a working mom. You may be out of the house 8 hours a day, but everything still needs to get done. Food shopping, laundry, homework… I can go on and on. If you are not good at managing your time or setting and sticking to a schedule, your happiness will suffer. This post on time management is a good place to start, but if you really want to dive in I recommend you check out time management books. (I Know How She Does It is a popular one)
Be Honest with Your Boss: There is a definite difference between men and women when it comes to parenting and the workplace. My husband rarely feels guilty or gets crap from my kids for missing a school party or play. When he leaves early to pick up one of our kids if they are sick, no one says a word to him at work. However, if I miss a school event, my son usually asks me why I wasn’t there. If I have to leave work because of a family emergency, I am bound to get an eyeroll (or two).
I realized many years ago that is just how it is, so I don’t try to act otherwise. My boss knows my kids are my priority and that simple fact makes my life so much easier. I refuse to feel guilty for coming in late since I took my kids to the doctor or watched my daughter in her school play. I give everyone a non-apologetic heads up and then I am done with it. I am not looked at in the same way as my child-free counterparts and that is okay with me.
Let Go of Perfection: I will always take the easiest route possible. If I need to bring baked goods into my kids school, I usually buy it. Baking 48 cupcakes is just not how I want to spend my free time. And that is okay. Kids love store-bought crap anyway and trust me, I suck at baking so they should be thanking me. We don’t do complicated crafts, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have fun. We do projects, but they are just simplified. More fun, less prep. I can’t always make fancy teacher gifts or head up a PTA sponsored event, but I will do SOMETHING. My sanity level is more important to me than perfection.
Be Present With Your Kids: When I spend time with my kids, I do my very best to be as present as possible. After I get home from work, I put my cell phone in a drawer and I am not allowed to look at it until after they go to bed. If my kids ask me to play with them, I really do play. (even if it is not the most fun for me, let’s be real) I listen to them. I focus on them. We eat dinner together almost every night as a family. My husband and I would both love to spend more time with our kids, so when we do, we make a conscious effort to make sure it is quality time.
Outsource What You Can: If you can afford help, get it. After years and years of telling myself I didn’t want to waste money on a cleaning lady, I finally got one about 5 months ago and what a life-changer! I can’t believe I was so stubborn about the whole thing. There are so many things you can outsource to help take the burden off of you. Online shopping is your friend. You can even have your groceries delivered! (I am totally in the process of looking into this right now!) It may be hard to pay for things that you technically can do for yourself, but you have to ask yourself how much your time is worth??
Take Time for Yourself: For the longest time, I didn’t take any time for myself. I worked so much, that when I was home I felt like I should be with the kids. I convinced myself that every free moment should be spent in mommy-mode, but that simply isn’t true. Self-care is so important. Do things that fulfill you, enjoy a girls night or a date with husband, enjoy an afternoon alone. To be a happy mom, wife and employee… you need to take the time to recharge.
I would love to tell you that by following these tips I am totally free from mom guilt, but that simply isn’t true. There are still days when I question my choices, however I can say that a majority of the time I am happy with how things are. Each day I get a little bit better at juggling, so I really hope these tips help you find a similar balance.
I can totally relate to this and agree with outsourcing help. We got a mother’s helper when I had to return to work after we had my second child and it was a gamechanger. Coming home and not having to make dinner or do laundry helped decrease my stress levels. Cheers!
I was so stubborn about getting help for the longest time, and I am kicking myself now for it! Thanks for stopping by and I hope you are having a great week! 🙂
This is great help , but what about being a working mom who is also a full time student ?? 😭😭 the guilt I feel everyday !
Wow, you are juggling a lot! But just think how much school will help your career in the future and if you can just make it through this crazy season you will create a better life for yourself and your babies!! You can do it! What a wonderful role model you are for your children! xoxox
You are so spot on! I’m completely unapologetic and that’s just the way it has to be. I’m factual about what’s happening, but still punctual and efficient when I’m at work.
Still trying to figure out if I want to work when I have kids but if I do these tips are on point.
It is a hard choice, but I am sure you will find what works for you and your family! 🙂
This is a great post. I went from working mom, to stay at home mom, to work at home mom and balancing everything is the key.
I feel like while working at home would be a challenge, that does sounds like a perfect compromise. I am glad you found what works best for you and your family!
What a relatable post! Maintaining sanity as a mama who works outside of the home full time can be so hard! I also agree with you- outsourcing is a tremendous help! We also decided to hire someone to come in once a month and it’s been an absolute LIFESAVER and well worth the money! Thanks for sharing!
I agree… I don’t know why I waited SO long to get help. It is hard to let go of things sometimes, esp when it also costs money! ha! 😉 I hope you have a fantastic week and thank you for stopping by!
As a work from home mom, this advice is SO right on! Especially the let go of perfection and being present with your kids. Really made me feel like I’m not alone, thank you for sharing! <3
I am so happy you enjoyed it, and you definitely are NOT alone!! Also kudos to you for managing to juggle working from home.. I bet that is a real challenge with littles running around!!! have a wonderful week and thanks again for stopping by!
I am a stay at home mother and have a hard time balancing it all. I truly admire the women who work full time outside the home. It truly is amazing! these are great tips.
And I admire stay at home mommas!! I can imagine it is equally difficult finding balance as a SAHM but for slightly different reasons! I hope you are having a great week! 🙂
YES! I try to incorporate everything on your list to maintain some sort of balance and happiness in my working, parenting, blogging life!
It is a delicate balance, for sure! Thanks for stopping by and I hope you are having a wonderful week!
Wise words indeed! Thank you so much for sharing this with me.
xo Debbie | http://www.tothineownstylebetrue.com
I am glad you enjoyed it Debbie! Have a wonderful week!
A huge YES to the cleaning lady and being present with your kiddos. Quality time is just as important as quantity!
I try to tell myself that! 😉 Thanks for stopping over and I hope you have a wonderful week!!
I love this. I don’t work outside of the home, but I did for a while, and I really did feel some mom guilt, especially since Kira was so young at the time. I would love a cleaning lady (One day I’ll get there).
yes you will momma! My husband didnt want to get one, but now he loves it. Have a fantastic week and I am so happy to see you back at blogging! 🙂
I’m a SAHM and I struggle to balance everything at home. I honestly admire the women who go out and are part of the workforce. Get it, Ladies!
It must be very difficult to manage your time with your little ones running around at home! I cant imagine I would be able to get anything done so kudos to you!! Have a fabulous week!
As a working mama I think you nailed this post! It is SO hard, but with a little bit of organization, honesty and A LOT of communication it is definitely doable.
Thank you.. and YES it is SO hard. It took me years to get to this point, and I still struggle often!! Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful week!!
I’m with you – outsourcing is my #1 hack.
Seriously I dont know why I resisted it for so long.
Great spot-on tips! I haven’t won the battle on a cleaning lady but I have learned to let go of perfection and to be happy with “good enough”. I am incredibly blessed to have a job that allows me to work remotely when necessary and even when not — this really tones down the work/life balance guilt. I could not agree more with being present, which is an ongoing life lesson! And by the way, store bought cupcakes rock! 😉
I would love to be able to work remotely even a day or two, I feel like that would make things so much easier! Have a fantastic week!
I returned to teaching after the birth of my daughter and then left at the end of the year to work from home. Mommy guilt is SO real. Having a routine and help from my husband and parents made it some what easier being at work, but I’m glad I get to be home now.
That is awesome you get to be with her full time now!! have a wonderful week! 🙂
Being present with my kids and taking time for myself have been two things that are very important to me.
So, true! I am doing all of the above, and just recently began practicing online shopping at target and walmart – save sooo much time! Why i didn’t think about it earlier?
Now the only shopping i do is a grocery shopping, plus i love stopping by at the kids consignment store once in a while, and occasionally buying clothes for myself (twice a year or so around the big sales). Saves so much time!
Great tips! I seriously think that outsourcing is so so important. I was burning myself out until I discovered I could do this and now i get to be more present with my child and work as well.
Awesome tips! Even though I have the time management down, I still get overwhelmed and you’re right simplify when you can, get help and don’t be too hard on yourself!!
Great post! I am contemplating hiring a cleaning company and I think you just convinced me. I also put my cell phone in a drawer because I was really struggling with being present after my second kiddo was born.
Seriously hire the cleaning company… it is really worth it! I wish I would have just done it sooner!
I love this post! I identify with ALL of these things. I’d have to get my clutter problem under control before hiring someone to clean my home for me! I’m working on that, but it’s not a priority. Your comment about kids love store-bought crap is so true! I never feel bad for not baking. It’s just not how I want to spend that time. I’m going to schedule this to share on my FB page. 😀
I really appreciate your article. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. take care
Such a lovely post. I’ve found it informative to me. Thanks for sharing it.
beeing a goog mom isn’t that easy as I tought